astrid's haven

2009-06-20T08:14:00.000-07:00

WAITING...

blogging...
tagal naman, tagal nung dinadownload ko...
anyways, since i'm waiting for it to finish I might as well do something useful (at eto na un, hahaha)

teka, ano bang pwede kong ishare sa mga mambabasa? (hmmmm, isip isip)
I'll share na lang my training experience for the last two weeks (actually, 8 days lng naman...)
"babala: maaring hindi maging kaiga-igaya ang mga sumusunod na nasusulat... "

June 8-10

AS27PH : System Operator and ...... (sorry I forgot the title...)
first training ko yan(at last!). sayang naman ang bond di ba...hehe
medyo madali na para sa kin (kahit na hindi ako umattend nung basic) kasi pamilyar na akosa mga pasikot-sikot sa OS400.
okie naman, madami akong natutunan... pati nga hindi ko trabaho (operator & security officer) eh natutunan ko din, ayus! malaking tulong pag hindi ko close ang mga yun! hahaha
4 lang kaming trainee (jp, hya, ann & niks)
lahat sila taga postal bank, ako lang ang outsider... pero cool kasi dinadaldal naman nila ko...

June 15-19

OL19PH: System Administration and ...... (syempre nakalimutan ko ulit, hahaha)
second training...
mas mabigat dahil iSeries Administration na yun, mas malaking responsibility...
this time 7 na kami, ngunit nag-iisa lang akong babae (ehem!)
(hindi na ko magbabanggit ng name dahil nakalimutan ko ang names nila, partida pa yan araw-araw kami magkakasama at nag-uusap... hehe)
syempre madami ulit natutunan, although nadiscuss na yung iba dun sa una kong training...
so mas madali na sa kin intindihin.

o tama na, tinatamad na ko eh...
teka, ngayon ko lang naisip, dapat ata TRAINING yung title hindi waiting...
pero oks na yan, walang basagan ng trip! hahaha

nga pala, para sa 2 kong kaibigan na naging inspirasyon ko sa 2 post ko dito...
yung isa nagising na sa katotohanan, medyo sawi lang ata ngayon (ayus lang yan, she's not worth your effort)
at dun naman sa isa (oo, ikaw nga yun! kaya makinig ka na...)
wala na pala ko masasabi, nasabi ko na lahat sa yo ang dapat mong marinig, kinatahan pa nga kita eh (recent blog)
anyways, sa inyong 2 at sa ibang ko pang barkada (heler! nasan na kayo.... super twins)
wala lang 'hello' (hahaha...)

bueno, until next time guys... babye!

2009-06-04T03:23:00.000-07:00

The following songs are dedicated to those who want to dedicate these songs to themselves... hehehe

Seriously, para po talaga sa mga BROKENHEARTED (hayz), sa mga maraming KATANUNGAN (so many questions but the answers are so few, minsan wala pa nga!), sa mga nagHOHOLD ON pa din (wag na ipilit kung ayaw), sa mga naka GET OVER NA (congrats! welcome back to reality), sa mga MAY NAGBABALIK (uyyyyy!) at sa mga IN LOVE ulit (goodluck!) ... EnJoY! =)

HEARTLESS
by Kris Allen

[Chorus]
In the night, i hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told.
somewhere far along this road, she lost her soul.
to a man so heartless..
how could you be so heartless? oh.. how could you be so heartless.

[Verse 1]
How could you be so, cold as the winter wind when it breeze yo.
just remember that you talkin' to me though.
you know need to watch the way you talkin' to me yo. i mean after all the things that we've been through.
i mean after all the things we got into.
hey yo, i know of some things that you aint told me.
hey yo, i did some things but that's the old me.
and now you wanna get me back and you goin' show me.
so you walk around like you don't know me.
you got a new friend, well i got homies.
but in the end it's still so lonely.

[Repeat Chorus]

[Verse 2]
How could be so Dr. Evil, you bringin' out the side of me that i dont know..
i decided we weren't goin' speak so.
why we up 3 A.M. on the phone.
why does he be so mad at me fo'.
homie i don't know, he's hot and cold.
i wont stop, i wont mess my groove up
cause i already know how this thing go.
YOU RUN AND TELL YOUR FRIENDS THAT YOU LEAVING ME
they say that they don't see what you see in me.
you wait a couple months then you gon' see.
you'll never find nobody better than me.

[Repeat Chorus]

[Verse 3]
Talkin', talkin', talkin', talk
baby lets just knock it off
they don't know what we been through
they don't know 'bout me and you
so i got something new to see
and you just gon' keep hatin' me
and we just gon' be enemies
i know you cant believe
i could just leave it wrong
and you cant make it right
im gon' take off tonight
into the night..

[Repeat Chorus]

LOSING GRIP
by Avril

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby?
Right now I feel invisible to you
Like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you?
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say

I was left to cry there
Waitin' outside there
Grinnin' with a lost stare
That's when I decided

Chorus:
Why should I care?
'Cuz you weren't there
When I was scared
I was so alone
You, you need to listen
I'm startin' to trip
I'm losin' my grip
And I'm in this thing
Alone

Am I just some chick
You placed beside you
To take somebody's place?
When you turn around
Can you recognize my face?
You used to love me
You used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't okay

I was left to cry there
Waitin' outside there
Grinnin' with a lost stare
That's when I decided

(Repeat Chorus)

Cryin' out loud
I'm cryin' out, loud
Cryin' out loud
I'm cryin' out
Open your eyes
Open up wide

BROKEN STRINGS
by James Morrison

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again
But you broke me, now I can't feel anything

When I love you and so untrue
I can't even convince myself
When I'm speaking it's the voice of someone else

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

Oh, what are we doing?
We are turning into dust
Playing house in the ruins of us

Running back through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When it's too late, too late

Oh, it tears me up
I tried to hold on but it hurts too much
I tried to forgive but it's not enough
To make it all okay

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
How can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?

But we're running through the fire
When there's nothing left to say
It's like chasing the very last train
When we both know it's too late, too late

You can't play our broken strings
You can't feel anything
That your heart don't want to feel
I can't tell you something that ain't real

Oh, the truth hurts and lies worse
So how can I give anymore
When I love you a little less than before?
Oh, you know that I love you a little less than before

Let me hold you for the last time
It's the last chance to feel again

OVER YOU
by Chris Daughtry

Now that it’s all said and done
I can’t believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down
Like an old abandoned house
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath
I fell too far, was in way too deep
Guess I let you get the best of me

(Chorus)
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally gettin’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

You took a hammer to these walls
Dragged the memories down the hall
Packed your bags and walked away
There was nothing I could say,
And when you slammed the front door shut
A lot of other’s opened up
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

(Chorus)
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, time agooo!
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know
I’m slowly getting closure
I guess it’s really over
I’m finally getting’ better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
‘Cause the day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you!!!
(End Chorus)

I never saw it coming
I should have started running
A long, long time agooo
And I never thought I’d doubt you
I’m better off without you

And I never saw it coming
I should have started running
I’m finally getting better
Now I’m picking up the pieces
From spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!
And I got over you!!!

The day I thought I’d never get through
I got over you…

OLD FRIEND
by Kyla

A million times or more I thought about you
The years, the tears, the laughter, things we used to do
Are memories that warm me like a sunny day
You touched my life in such a special way

I miss the way you'd run your fingers through my hair
Those crazy nights we cuddled in your easy chair
Oh no, I won't let foolish pride turn you away
I'll take you back whatever price I pay

Old friend
It's so nice to feel you hold me again
No, it doesn't matter where you have been
My heart welcomes you back home again

Remember those romantic walks we used to take
You held my hand in such a way my knees would shake
You can't imagine just how much I've needed you
I've never loved someone as I love you

Old friend
It's so nice to feel you hold me again
No, it doesn't matter where you have been
My heart welcomes you back

Old friend
This is where our happy ending begins
Yes, I'm sure this time that we're gonna win
Welcome back into my life again

Yes, I've tried to live my life without you
Knowing I had lost my closest friend
And though I'm feeling low from time to time
Knowing I will never find the kind of love I had when you were mine

Old friend
It's so nice to feel you hold me again
No, it doesn't matter where you have been
My heart welcomes you back

Old friend
This is where our happy ending begins
Yes, I'm sure this time that we're gonna win
Welcome back into my life again

Welcome back into my life again
Welcome back into my life again

HALO
by Beyonce

Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they're tumbling down
And they didn't even put up a fight
They didn't even make up a sound

I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now

It's like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
It's the risk that I'm takin'
I ain't never gonna shut you out

Chorus:
Everywhere I'm looking now
I'm surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more
It's written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won't fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

Hit me like a ray of sun
Burning through my darkest night
You're the only one that I want
Think I'm addicted to your light

I swore I'd never fall again
But this don't even feel like falling
Gravity can't forget
To pull me back to the ground again

Feels like I've been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin'
The risk that I'm takin'
I'm never gonna shut you out

(Repeat Chorus)

SONNET XVII

2009-06-04T03:07:00.000-07:00

SONNET XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

2008-07-13T02:21:00.000-07:00

hayz... after a long break, im back! hehe
actually busy lang talaga...
anyways, just wanna share with you guys my experiences as a full pledge employee! naks, i'm proud cympre...
who wouldn't be...
i'm a part of one of the most stable bank in the philippines...

grabe, i didn't expect it, and i'm happy and contented with my work.
my TECON family are simply the best!
and the whole DSD of course... i had a great time sa outing natin! sana maulit! hehe
i love you guys!

BOSSING - bossing..... yoh! ever mabait, ever so cool na bossing. im so glad na sa department nyo poh ako napunta.... making sure i'm worth of your trust.. so proud of you, dahil after kumanta ng lahat ng tecon kagabi, kumanta ka din sa wakas! hahaha

MICO - destiny's ko yan, mana ka tlga sa kin...hehe ano pa ba masasabi ko, kaw ang unang nagturo sa kin nga mga basic knowledge of being a tecon... thank you sa lahat! go odluck sa inyo ni bf, kahit malayo cya jts be strong, d2 lang nman ako, magdadamayan tayo dhl pareho tau ng kalagayan db... hehehe

KRIS - soulmate ko yan, nauna cya ng two weeks & mas bata cya ng two years, pero swak na swak kmi sa isat isat...hehe wala na akong masabi, mabait na bata, parehong kaming unica hija, both love dogs, even some of our qualities matched tlga! kaya nga soulmate eh...

FRED - prinsipe fredo... sayang ndi ka nakasama sa outing, andami mong namiss! but nevertheless, im glad that ive met you... ur a great mentor, malapit na kong maging expert s AS400! hahaha thanks tlga...

JUAN - one of the newest member din...at may itintago palang boses ha! hinamon ako ng duet kagabi, napasubo tuloy ako ng wala s oras dhl "the prayer" ang gusto, aba'y wala p nman akong boses kgb! buti carry ng powers ko...hehe nextime ulit, pagbumalik n boses ko...hahaha

IVY- ang aming gifted child, 19yrsold pa lang ata tohng bata na toh! mabait, tingining snob lang...saka sa kanya ko nalamang ang mga pulubi pala ngayon nagpapa brace n ah! hahaha at kumusta naman ang OT, 60hrs na ata! enge nman! hahaha

ANTHONY - itoh ang newest sa tecon, mabait, matanong lang tlga minsan...hehe tagasalo ko pag anjn na ang makukulit na imex! kaya maghanda ka na anthony, sa u ko ipapamana ang IMEX! iyong-iyo na! hahaha at musta nman ang gus2 mong kantahin ntin, i want to spend my lifetime...eh saka n lng pabumalik n ng hus2 boses ko, okie? hehe

TITA CORA - ang nanay ng tecon.may sari sari-store sa loob ng bpi.hahaha lagi akong may listang samba jn eh...hehehe tita cors, ung piglet ko san n?tagal n nun infairness...hehe

And to all of my DSD family, lalo ung mga sumama sa outing, i had a great time guys! thanks for the moments...hehe hope we'll have a good working relationship, friendship inside and outside of BPI... Godbless poh!

- yan, para sa mga nagbabasa ng blog ko, gus2 ko lang poh maishare how happy i am now with my work...
Thanks sa mga bumibisita...kahit na matagal tagal bago magkaroon ng bagong topic...hehe
Godbless to all!...

2008-05-08T21:41:00.001-07:00

this is for a friend...

a quote was sent to me & I instantly remembered you, here it goes...

when you've found the reason to walk away, never look back...
just keep on walking, even if the destination is unclear...
it will take a lot of courage for every step you make, but it will save some PRIDE & HONOR for yourself..
(here is the best part)
" IT'S BETTER TO GET LOST MOVING ON, THAN TO BE STRANDED & BROKEN AFTER ALL"

BOB ONG said, "pakawalan mo yung mga bagay na nakakasakit sayo kahit pinasasaya ka nito. wag mong hintayin yung araw na sakit na lang ang nararamdaman mo at iniwan ka na ng kasiyahan mo"

--- sabi mo, "time will heal the pain"
--- sabi naman namin, "that's a lie... Because you only get to be healed, when you decided to be cured..."
the question is, "have you decided to be cured my friend?"

ang pagmomove on hindi lang sinasabi, more, dapat ginagawa... kulang ka ng DETERMINASYON. bakit? kasi hanggang ngayon umaasa ka pa din na hindi lang talaga ito ang pagkakataon para sa inyong dalawa... hindi ko sinasabing huwag mo na siyang mahalin, dahil alam kong mahirap gawin yun, at wala ako sa posisyon para magsalita ng ganun. pero nakikita at nararamdaman kong nahihirapan ka, oo masaya ka pag magkasama kayo, pero pano pag hindi na kayo magkasama, sinong nahihirapan?kaw din... ang masaklap pa dun, wala lang yun sa kanya, dahil isa ka lang KAIBIGAN, at mananatiling kaibigan na lamang...
love her at a distance, that is the most that you can do to save yourself from so much hurt.

sabi mo pa dati, ginagawa mo ang mga ginagawa mo dahil ayaw mong mabuhay sa mga "what if's", "sana pala" at kung anu ano pang panghihinayang. tama, motto ko din yan... pero may hangganan yan. hindi dahil gusto mo ay "no regrets" na buhay ay magpapakaTANGA ka na lang... dun ka sa sitwasyong kahit papano may mapapala ka naman, hindi yung ikaw lang ang bigay ng bigay, na kung minsan pa nga kahit hindi hinihingi nung isa ay nagbibigay ka pa din...
ang masasabi ko na lng, "you have to know how to love yourself first before giving love to others and eventually putting yourself to a situation where the only loser is YOU..."

--- it's hard to fight alone in a war that only you knows it is happening... mahirap lumaban ng nag-iisa lalo na kng wala ka naman pala talagang ipinaglalaban. you said, "this not yet the right time", I said, "there is no wrong time, just wrong situations..."
--- masarap lumaban na may kasama, kahit alam nyong pareho na napakaimposibleng mapagtagumpayan ito... pero minsan, sadyang malupit ang tadhana dahil inilalagay ka nya sa maling sitwasyon.
at un ang pinakamahirap na kalaban, ang MALING SITWASYON...

2008-02-25T00:16:00.000-08:00

i would like to thank tsina for considering me as one of her friends, eventhough we haven't really hang out together... (oo nga noh, let's try naman un minsan)

and because tsina has given me an award (and talaga namang natouched ako) i would like to take this opportunity to thank all those people who gave me an inspiration in making my own blog.

QREUX
your blogs has been an entertainment (hehehe), i mean it still is, kaya lang nasan ka na ba ha? magparamdaman ka nman idol! since the day i read one of your blogs, about donuts (you know...), i always find time to visit your site and of course karugtong na nun ang pangalawang taong gusto kong pasalamatan...

TSINA
friend, (wow, do i really have the right to call you that na?) thank you for the award (sana hindi ako pauilit-ulit noh?). eh natouched talaga ko... mababaw lang kaligayahan ko eh...hehehe
your blogs, hay... what can i say... it always brings out my emotions! as in! kainis ka, i hashe you for that... but i love your stories, some of them i can relate, some of them leaves me wondering, some of them makes my nose bleed! hahaha

and lastly...

NAPSTER
for introducing me to qreux and tsina's blogs... thank you poh talaga! and also for guiding me and being a mentor... (iba na talaga ang matanda! peace...hehehe) your presence is very much appreciated!

"We all take different paths in life, but no matter where we go, we take a little of each other everywhere."

gratias ago vos pro inspiring facio meus own blogs...

p.s. thank you din kay ma'am thelma raba for making this possible and be in reality! (dahil nagpagawa kayo ng webpage kaya napilitan na kong isakatuparan ang kagustuhan kong gumwa ng blog! hahaha)

2008-02-08T23:02:00.000-08:00

"we are not held back by the love we did not get in the past,
but by the love we did not extend at present"

-marriane williamson

*** love keeps no record of wrongs.... whatever love you can bring today is not based on what happened yesterday. ***
- ryan

*** you learn to let things be... when you realize that what matters most to is the PERSON and not the ISSUE...
- astrid

2008-02-06T23:45:00.000-08:00

LIKE YOU'LL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN...

If I had no more time
No more time left to be here
Would you cherish what we had?
Was it everything that you were looking for?
If I couldn’t feel your touch
And no longer were you with me
I’d be wishing you were here
To be everything that I’d be looking for

I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
‘Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So every time you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you’ll never see me again
Every time you touch me
Touch me like this is the last time
Promise that you’ll love me
Love me like you’ll never see me again

Oh Oh Ohhhhh

How many really know what love is?
Millions never will
Do you know until you lose it
That it’s everything that we are looking for
When I wake up in the morning
You’re beside me
I’m so thankful that I found
Everything that I been looking for

I don’t wanna forget the present is a gift
And I don’t wanna take for granted the time you may have here with me
‘Cause Lord only knows another day is not really guaranteed

So everytime you hold me
Hold me like this is the last time
Every time you kiss me
Kiss me like you’ll never see me again
(can you do that for me baby)
Every time you touch me
(see we don’t really know)
Touch me like this is the last time
(see everyday we never know)
Promise that you’ll love me
(I want you to promise me)
Love me like you’ll never see me again
(like you’ll never see me again)

Ohhh ohhh ohhh ohhh ohh

*** love this song... so much passion it makes me wanna cry... and Alicia Keys really gave justice to the song, love her!

2008-02-05T01:01:00.000-08:00

My Personality


Neuroticism	13
Extraversion	67
Openness To Experience	37
Agreeableness	79
Conscientiousness	71

You rarely get angry and it takes a lot to make you angry, however high levels of stress can lead to you feeling panic or confusion, but usually you cope with day to day pressures. You like crowds but sometimes feel overwhelmed by them. Sometimes you feel like you need some privacy and time for yourself. You prefer familiar routines and for things to stay the same. You can tend to feel uncomfortable with change. You dislike confrontations and are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny your own needs in order to get along with others, however you will help others if they are in need. If people ask for too much of your time you feel that they are imposing on you. You have a strong sense of duty and obligation, and feel a moral obligation to do the right thing.

Take the Personality Test

2008-01-29T22:28:00.000-08:00

I WISH YOU ENOUGH

I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright
no matter how gray the day may appear.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest
of joys in life may appear larger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you posses.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final goodbye.

"it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, but then an entire life to forget them..."

2008-01-28T07:44:00.000-08:00

presenting...
my favorite cartoon character... Baby Taz!

what a cutie right?

that's also what I thought when i first saw him at the mall! A poster of all the baby looney tunes, but baby taz caught my attention instantly!

a little background about baby taz's origin...

Baby Taz is the infant version of Tazmanian Devil, one of the most recognizable members of the Looney Tunes roster. But none of the meanness or unbridled rage we see in grown-up Taz is present in his younger self. He is still unable to communicate in anything other than growls, and still the most simplistic/animalistic of the group, but there are no tornados of eating and destruction in this version. Baby Taz first appeared as one of the regulars of the Baby Looney Tunes series with his buddies baby bugs, baby daffy, baby sylvester, baby tweety & baby lola!

so there... oh and before i end my first blog (hehehe), i would like to show you my favorite picture of baby taz (this is the most adorable i think! hahaha)

see? guess who he resembles??? use your imagination... hahaha